This is a response to someone who knows who she is, because she came to me with a problem in my AskBox. I tried to respond privately, but Tumblr is being mean to me right now and I want to get this to her as soon as possible! I’m not trying to put her on blast or anything, there are no names here. It will remain anonymous and I think that a lot of people can relate to her problem anyway.
Hey girl! I feel so flattered that you would come to me! But first of all, don’t say that you shouldn’t have bothered him by seeking closure because everyone deserves closure. Everyone deserves to move on. And while maybe it is best not to do it drunk, you following through with it while you were drunk was a clear indicator that closure is something you want and need but are held back from doing so when you’re sober. I do believe that drunk words speak a sober heart, because I end up doing it all the time (regretfully, but sometimes it’s a thing that needs to happen in order for you to realize something important). It’s because alcohol is a dis-inhibitor, it helps you let go of some kind of fear that you usually have. That’s why it’s called courage juice! LOL
But seriously, her putting you on blast thru tumblr and not meeting up with you in person is a clear sign that she is too scared to actually do anything as well. What I would do about her is, nothing. Usually people tend to bother other people because they want some sort of reaction.. they get some sort of satisfaction from getting a rise out of you. And when you don’t give it to them, it frustrates them all the more because they put that much effort into trying to piss you off, and you gave them nothing. And plus, if there really is a problem to resolve, she should come to you in person, or try to contact you in some other way than by directing things at you while hiding behind her tumblr. Petty drama isn’t worth it. I know how stressful that can be, and it’s best to just leave it alone and move on because you’re better than that.
Honestly, you are stronger than you think! My advice for you is to just live your life the way you truly want and take responsibility for all your actions. What I mean is, if you want closure, you should get it. But maybe you should apologize for doing it drunk first, and then try to do it correctly one more time. And if he doesn’t accept it, that’s fine. You tried, and that’s enough. Closure doesn’t necessarily have to be a two person thing. Sometimes the only thing you can do in the end is just let go, and move on.
I actually got closure recently with one of my ex’s, and it didn’t really involve him really saying anything back at me. It just took me realizing that my forgiveness benefits ME way more than it benefits him; because I was carrying all that weight of hating him or wondering how it could’ve been, while he was just out in the world not caring about us at all. It feels good to just let go completely, all the weight is lifted and you can finally move on and live your life, and love really. It’s a happy feeling :) But seriously, if you don’t react to her, she’ll most likely leave you alone. Showing her that you don’t care and that nothing she says has an effect on you is the best revenge, in my opinion. Because she will be the one carrying all the weight of all that anger, not you. Some girls really are bitchy, but you know what? That’s their problem for being so immature, and not knowing how to handle theirs. Doesn’t mean you have to be bitchy back because you’re right, girls are bitchy. But real women are not bitches. Even better yet, if she is being a bitch to you, go ahead and be nice to her. Show her she has no effect on you. Nothing in your life will fall apart as long as you don’t let it. Be strong, I believe in you! Let me know if you need to talk about anything else at all! :)
